This is what I'm suffering from. It seems that one moment I am in a state of euphoria, totally in love with my life and grateful for every. single. thing. Then the next moment I am moody and totally hating all that I'm doing (or not doing) with my so called life. In my euphoric state I count my blessings and happily trot down the path that leads me through my journey. On my bad days I curse the day and everyone in it. The worst part of my negative attitude is that my head tells me that I should not feel such despair and that I have many things to be happy about ... but my heart can not hear my head through the loud noise of sobbing and self hating dialogue. On these days I just want to start over. I allow myself to wallow in my misery possibly because it is part of my self diagnosed, totally made up illness or possibly because I know that tomorrow will be a better day and that I will have a better attitude and be more capable of handling life. That is it! I know that tomorrow will be better and I will return to my grateful, fun-loving self. Tomorrow I will be grateful, for a number of things but mostly that today is over.
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